labor plans...

Benjamin's birth did not go quite as planned, obviously. But, the part that was the hardest for me was that I had a reaction to the pain medications - they made me hallucinate and then I had trouble staying alert during the actual birth. That was really hard for me, because I had elaborate plans in my head for how I would keep people up to date during my labor, how I would greet my baby, pictures that would take, people I would tell first, how I would tell them, etc. All of that went out the window!


After midnight, I didn't contact anyone because I was so out of it. In fact, I remember coming out of my fog in the morning and telling John to call my mom because I knew she would be worried. I never had any beautiful photos of me and Ben in the hospital... in fact I barely have any now!


I had a list written out of all the people I wanted contacted first when the baby was born. Because I was coming in and out of crazy-land (I don't recommend anyone ever take Stadol...), I pointed out the list to John and asked him to send the texts. I found out later that he only sent messages to about ten names on the piece of paper because it was folded up in fourths. Seriously. There were probably 40-50 names on the list, and only ten or so got messages! Did you get one? Lucky you! I had the piece of paper clipped to my planner, and your name was on the side that was facing out! haha... It took me days to figure all this out. No family received texts, most of my friends received messages from my sister, and many learned on Facebook. My apologies if you fall in this category. I had no idea, and that was not my intention.


I think the part that was the hardest was not being alert when Benjamin joined us. I was emotional about it then and for quite a few days after. I was so helpless and couldn't keep my eyes open... I felt awful. Mother's guilt straight from the get!


I guess most women probably have their world rocked and end up in a labor scenario that wasn't exactly as they planned! I know that this is minor when it comes to surprises during labor, but for me, it felt like "everything" at the time.