week four: you can call it a syndrome

My Nuero Opthamologist called me plump.
My NEW doctor, that I had never met, called me plump.

He called me plump in front of four medical students.

Three attractive young men about my age, and one sweet, young Indian woman.

She cupped my face romantically when she looked into my eyes.

(I thought she was going to run her fingers through my hair next.)
They all wanted to look into my eyes.

There was something cool to see, but I don't know what it was.
When they told me my possible diagnosis, I thought they said Super Tumor Celebrity.

I knew celebrity was wrong, so when I told my mom I said blah blah blah.

Actually, I said "I have super tumor blah blah blah."

My eyes were too dialated to see what the name was on my piece of paper.
(They were probably too dialated to be driving too.)

It is actually not a super tumor.

(thank God.)

It's Pseudotumor Cerebri.

I wish I had heard that one right.

BIG difference between a SUPER and a PSEUDO tumor.

One is a tumor, and one thinks its funny to pretend to be a tumor.

Oh yeah - back to being fat.

So, the definition of Pseudotumor Cerebri says you should be a young, fat woman.

I am not sure why losing weight can get rid of this disease, but my doc thinks it can.

Yeah, I said disease.

I asked him, "Whoa! I have a disease?"

He responds, "You can call it a syndrome if you like."

Today I am not plump. I am down 6.2 pounds.
And this weekend, Jared told me I had 21 year old hips.
 (...when I was showing him my hot Gangnam Style moves.)