30 Life Lessons at 30

1. I like my parents.
There was a time in high school where most people stopped liking their parents and thought they were UNCOOL. I never did, but I probably wasn't shouting from the rooftops how much I liked them... and how I always obeyed their rules.... because I was a huge nerd. I have since realized that it is because my parents are amazing people, and some people do not get great parents. My twenties changed our relationship in so many great ways, because instead of just leaning on them, they can now lean back on me. I can repay them for all their years of greatness. (and they were always cool)
 

2. Dogs are truly God's gift.
Especially to a budding relationship! Raleigh has taught me a lot about responsibility, but she also brought John and I closer. She made us a family. She brings a lot of love into our days, makes us laugh, and keeps us playful.
 

3. I am not a fixer.
When something is broken, I throw it away. When something is broken, John gets excited to fix it. Good life partner for me.
 

4. Admitting I was wrong and forgiveness - still yet to master.
I figured out in the last decade that these are key to happiness, but easier said than done. I will continue to work towards being more humble and forgiving.
 

5. There are people who want you to fail.
Do you have someone in your life who acts nice but you always feel like they secretly want you to fail? They probably do. I bet they are concerned about their own failures, and they would feel a lot better about it if they weren't alone. Moral of the story? Be cautious around this person - but also be kind, because they are hurting.
 

6. I love fall the best.
Colorful leaves, fall festivals, football all weekend, my wedding anniversary... the list goes on! Best season by far.
 

7. I chose a great partner.
John is my best friend. I am glad we took a leap five years ago.
 

8. Weight loss is possible!
 ... but you have to keep it up. If you keep off the weight for a couple months with no work, that doesn't mean it won't come back. It will. Watch out. Keep working out and eating well, or you'll have to start all over.
 

9. My book club is awesome and I love to read.
Reading has become such a big part of my life. I love checking another book off my list, and I love the quiet time to myself. Thanks to this group of girls for helping me discover a love of reading.

10. Facebook can hurt your feelings.
We all use social media to show off the best parts of our lives. That's also why it can be so hurtful. We forget that no one snaps a picture and says, "This is that day where everyone hurt my feelings and I said the wrong thing and I made a mistake and my house was dirty and my car is old and I have no goals and I ate my feelings...."
 

11. Be kind.
Period. Give respect and you will receive it.
 

12. BUT - being a bitch has its rewards too.
See the aforementioned note about kindness? Be kind, but do NOT be a doormat.
 

13. the C word.
Cancer has become a big part of my life. I will spend the rest of my years loathing this disease and supporting the best organzations I can. PLEASE NOTE: Some of the best known orgs are spending a lot of money on education and a lot less on actual research - they are also staying afloat financially because cancer exists - I am not a conspiracy theorist, but please be cautious and smart about your donations.
 

Also - If someone has lung cancer and you ask if they smoked - you are an asshole. Would you ask someone with heart disease if they have ever had a cheeseburger?
 

14. Being an aunt is awesome.
I love babies, and I love my friend's babies - but, I didn't know the expanse of my heart until I met Henry. Being an aunt before being a mom is probably going to be one of life's greatest gifts to me. It's like seeing a glimmer of what motherhood might bring me, but being able to enjoy this step first.
 

15. I am not invincible.
My twenties taught me that I won't live forever, and neither will anyone else. Our bodies are fragile, life is short, and you can't predict the future. John has battled some weird infections and ulcer issues in the last year, I learned I have Scoliosis and Arthritis (which I am sure will be a bigger part of my 30s... wah wah), doctors thought I had a tumor last year, and both John and I now have parents battling stage four cancer. Whoopee.
 

16. Grief is complicated.
Everyone responds differently. Be thoughtful.
 

17. It's okay to walk away from toxic friendships. It's okay to have just a few close friends.
Are you always walking on egg shells? Do they make you feel bad about yourself? Is it always about them? End it now. My twenties gave me the strength to let bad relationships go.
 

18. It's not always about you!
It's just not. (Boom! Mic drop!)
 

19. Don't talk to me before coffee.
This could also be re-worded as, "I am stupid before coffee," or "I am a bitch before coffee." Basically, just give me coffee.
 

20. I am who I am - and I'm an ENFJ.
Do you take personality tests? (maybe just nerdy Psych majors like me do?) I am an ENFJ (Extrovert-Intuitive-Feeling-Judging) on the Myers-Briggs test, and a 2 or 7 in the Enneagram test (Helper/Enthusiast). John is an ESTP. Mine says, "Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Finds potential in everyone. Highly attuned to the motivations of others" - and John's says, "they want to act energetically to solve the problem. Focus on the here-and-now, spontaneous, enjoy each moment that they can be active with others. Learn best through doing."  See your explanations here.
 

21. Food is fun!
I like restaurants, cooking at home, the food network, cookbooks, tv shows like Top Chef.... basically, you should feed me, and I will love you forever. (Also see #19.)

22. Men may need cleaning awards.
Okay. I really thought all the sitcoms were just an exaggeration of male/female relationships, but they are true. I could clean the whole kitchen, do laundry, cook dinner - all while bouncing on one foot - and he'd still need a lot of gratitude for taking out a bag of trash. (Where is my cheerleader?) I have recently decided that if men need an award for cleaning - fine. We all have our love languages and talents and needs. Fine.
 

23. Online dating can lead to marriage.
Yes. We met online. I am mostly okay with admitting it - and definitely not ashamed - but sometimes I just want to say, "We were set up." Especially to strangers.
 

24. You better like your work.
If you are just starting out, you probably haven't realized it yet - you will spend more hours at work each week than hours doing anything else. So, find something you like, invest in relationships at work that will make it a fun place to be, and motivate yourself to not only enjoy your work but exceed your own expectations. The bitterness from not liking your job or not doing it well can eat you alive.
 

25. Gratefulness
When I feel the twinge of jealousy, I always remind myself that there is someone out there that wants something I have. Be grateful.
 

26. Half Full
I am an optimist. I have to be. I thrive on happy, and I truly believe that things work out. I think one secret is empathy. The saddest people I see are the ones who cannot see life from other perspectives, so they are always making assumptions and making everything personal. Look on the bright side - or look more closely!
 

27. "Secrets don't make friends."
Remember smart-mouthing that phrase at recess? Well, it is true. If you talk crap every time your friend is missing, chances are they do the same when you are missing. Be a good friend, be honest, and have each other's back.
 

28. Be at peace with God.
It was easy to look to God as a young person. I knew no sadness, no true grief. Learning to trust God even through life's greatest sadnesses has opened me up to a new spiritual relationship. Doubting and anger made me stronger. (On a side note - Kari Jobe has become the voice of reason on many sad days. Have a bad day? Listen to this song and feel some solace.)
 

29. Adults never had it all figured out!
Remember when you were little and you thought adults knew everything? I kept thinking I would stumble upon a moment of enlightenment in my twenties and receive my adulthood membership card... instead, I realized that everyone is just doing their best and no one has the answers. "Fake it to make it" - that is adulthood. Phew.
 

30. The best is yet to come!
I am excited to enter a new decade. I will do so with an open heart!