the lactivist.

Tired of my labor and delivery posts? Sorry! There is so much to say!

Breastfeeding was something that I expected to be easy. For my mother and sister, it was - so, I assumed it would be for me... I actually didn't realize until day two that I had a "problem"... specifically when a lactation consultant came in and told me I had one. (gulp. that was hard to hear.) I thought we were just having some latching issues, because he always eventually ate.

After our first feeding with her there, this same woman laid into me about my priorities! She told me she wanted to come back to observe my next feeding in 45 minutes. Knowing I had family on the way to the hospital AND wanted a shower, I suggested she come back in one hour. She told me, "I am going to tell you this, and it is going to sound harsh. Starting now, this baby and feeding him come before anything. You need to start putting his needs before your own starting today. You can't put anything before his feeding schedule." I was like - WHOA, LADY! Do I look like I am a character from TEEN MOM? I have been letting you grab my boobs for over an HOUR and say things to me like "nipple sandwich" and tell me how wrong I am doing EVERYTHING, and you are going to GUILT TRIP me NOW? Her damn "plan" for me was an hour and a half process of breastfeeding awkwardly with a nipple shield and pumping after each feeding that I had to start over every two hours... so, yeah... 30 minutes between feedings 24 hours a day... that was her brilliant plan... for my LIFE... because breastfeeding would apparently get me closer to God or something... (formula is the devil, don't you know?) (please read the sarcasm there...) Oh yeah, and her plan included John joining for every single feeding to support my wrist this way and press my boob that way... yeah right. Sorry, BRENDA, I don't know what planet you are from...

The next day a much more loving, gentle lactation consultant came in and lifted my spirits. She was encouraging, thoughtful, and she talked to me about what I was comfortable with and helped me come up with a realistic plan for my real life. Bless her - She is probably the sole reason Ben receives breastmilk.

In the end, I decided to exclusively pump. That is working well for us! I wish I had known that so many women struggle with this. I also wish I had been prepared for the crazy lactivists...