f*** cancer

I wear a bracelet that says, "F*** Cancer." It doesn't actually say the word - it is an F with three astericks. My friend Nate gave it to me in solidarity. (Sadly, losing a loved one to cancer is now something we have in common.) I don't advertise it, but I have worn it each day since my Dad went into the hospital last year on January 25. It became a ritual for me. On the days I forgot to put the bracelet on, I wore it around the house at the end of the day. Call it cathartic, call it ceremonial, superstitious - it was a way to honor my father daily.

Last Saturday, it broke.

Exactly one year from the Saturday we took him to the hospital.

I wore it for 365 days.

I am still letting it sink in.

This entire week has been a trigger... board meetings, strange weather, snow in the forecast. All of it reminds me of last year. The day is coming, and I cannot run away from it.